Meeting My Dad

“MEETING MY DAD” Since I was born, my mom has been there for me taking care of me when I’m sick and teaching me pretty much all I know. But while growing up, I reached a point where I started realizing that every kid in my school had a “mommy” and a “daddy” and I didn’t. I never really noticed that because my uncles and my grandpa were always around me, but when I started school I realized I didn’t have anybody to call “Dad”.

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I was five years old when I started noticing this entire dilemma and because of my age I started asking a numerous quantity of questions to my mom, questions that were hard to talk about for her and complicated to explain to a clumsy and immature five year old girl. Obviously I didn’t understand everything my mom told me even though I tried. My life went on without my father and he called once or twice just to promise stuff that he never did. My mom never dared to talk bad about him, she always said that the image that I have of my dad will always be affected with his actions and not with what she thinks about him.

After those few calls I never heard from him again. I was ten years old when the chance of meeting him for the first time appeared out of nowhere. “Why? ” I asked myself multiple times and “Why is this happening to me when I finally got the idea that it’s only me and my mom? ” I’m not going to lie, I was really afraid that after meeting that stranger I would feel like I needed him. The day of meeting him came abruptly, I can’t describe how nervous I was, and being in a house that wasn’t mine didn’t help.

We were at my uncle’s uncomfortable and freezing cold house and the environment felt tense, and that made me feel even more insecure and frightened since I wasn’t in my protective cocoon, my house. The hours went by, and the moment of meeting him came like lightning and next thing I know I had an average height man, in his 30’s standing in front of me. Emotions raising and legs shaking I couldn’t believe it, I looked just like him, thick black hair, enormous eyes with endless eyelashes, and that very obvious dark mole that I have on my neck, he even had it too.

What can I say, the only physical differences that that stranger and i had were the big bushy mustache that he had above his lips, and the fact that I’m a girl, and he’s not. After ten minutes of just looking at each other, the man decided to break the ice and gave me a big hug, one of those hugs that feel like a python is strangling you. After I finally caught my breath back, I heard the first words that the man said, “Hi, I’m your dad” After those words, absolute silence came with them. “C’mon, give daddy a big hug! …After my brain processed those words, I just thought to myself, “How is this stranger asking me to hug him? ” I mean, it is like asking any random person out there if they can hug me and I bet they would feel pretty confused and scared, or maybe recommend some kind of counseling, but I guess he never got to understand that, even by the weird looks I was giving him after he said that. That was a long evening and not much was said from me besides a short sentence where I told him thanks, “Thanks for bringing me to this world but other than that, I haven’t needed you and I’m very sure I never will”.

I’m not sure if I was even done with what I had to say, but immediately the man started sobbing, tears started running like if they were playing races down his cheeks. On the other hand I cried, but I cried inside my mind because I wasn’t going to show this man that I was weak. After that conversation I stayed over my at uncle’s house for a few days, the same days that the man went to visit me every day and gave me expensive gifts. I guess he was trying to give me all he didn’t for 10 years.

He didn’t give me enough money or gifts, he just couldn’t. I mean this man missed all the important moments on his daughter’s life: my first word, when I first started walking, and all those little moments that people can’t just buy with gifts. Those days at my uncle’s house went by fast. I had to go back home and the man that begged me to call him “dad” promised to call, for some reason I actually thought he would because he just sounded so convincing.

Just like I thought he never called, I learned my lesson which is not to trust everything people promise you, because if you do it hurts you more that it hurts them when they don’t do what they said they would. I would say this conflict in my life really changed me because now I can’t trust a person like I would like to because it’s hard for me, I feel like they are going to hurt me and I guess this is something I’m going to have to deal with for the rest of my life.


I'm Heather

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