Asking for Help

Diploma *In* Psychology: Ethical Issues In Psychology And Counseling Asking For Help {draw:frame} When one asks for help, it could mean that one is unable to solve the problems that trouble him or her. Moreover, that also means that one has no grip over his or her problems and is seeking for a way out. By asking for help, one hopes to get assistance to ease or relieve his or her burden. A person with emotional difficulties might find it hard for them to function normally, therefore school and work could be affected. I would like to use the example of my close friend, Jesse.

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She was secretly pregnant after a one night fling during the midst of our major O levels exam. Lost, scared and confused, she does not have the courage to ask for help. Now, let’s look at why asking for help could be hard for others, such as Jesse. Family upbringing plays an important part as well. Children who were brought up in an environment that discouraged complaints were often asked to handle their own problems. Therefore, they grow up to keep their problems only to themselves. In such a highly competitive environment in which everyone aims to be at the top, asking for help is seen to be weak and vulnerable in the eyes of others.

It is like signaling that one is a weak link or a loser when he or she asks for help. However, I personally think that the main issue that is stopping people from asking for help is fear. Fear of being labeled as incapable or a failure makes asking for help hard. Also, lacking the guts to identify the real root problem is another barrier to ask for help. That is why Jesse would not ask for help because she was fearful of being labeled as a failure or loser by her parents, teachers and friends for being pregnant at such a young age.

Other contributing factors such as being unable to find the opportunity to speak to the right person about the problem made asking for help more difficult. At times, we might even find it hard to speak to our closest friend about our deepest problem. They do not understand what we are going through and often have one minded perspective and bias. There are similar reasons as to why we find it hard to ask for help from our parents or people, because sometimes they may get involved.

This is just like how Jesse could not find anyone to confide her problem in as she felt that we could not understand her position and might even be harsh on her like how her parents were. There are some solutions to make asking for help easier. If one is uncomfortable to ask for help personally from close friends they can try communicating by email, writing a letter to Aunt Agony, online chat line and phone help line. The new age of online social media communication enable one to remain anonymous and be able to speak about his or her problems more comfortably.

Holding on to personal issues and not allowing our problems to be known keeps us socially isolated, and therefore insecure. However, by seeking for help through counseling, we will feel connected and not all alone. I feel that why people ask for help not because they really do not know how to solve their problems. Mostly, they just want to ask for opinions and someone to listen to their problem. And to do what other think it’s right according, so as not to be an outcast in our society. According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, esteem presents the normal human desire to be accepted and valued by others.

Maslow noted two versions of esteem needs, a lower one and a higher one. The lower one is the need for the respect of others, the need for status, recognition, fame, prestige, and attention. The higher one is the need for self-respect, the need for strength, competence, mastery, self-confidence, independence and freedom. Bottling up all the painful emotional burden could lead to one suffering from depression, frustration, anger, mental illnesses, feeling inferior to others and could even lead to one harboring suicidal thoughts that lead to tragedies.

As for Jesse, she decided to go for an abortion on her own, thinking that she can do so without asking for help. The surgery almost led to tragedy for Jesse’s parents as well. It shows how things can spurn out of hand by not asking for help. In conclusion, I think that it takes a strong person to know that he or she needs help, and an even stronger one to ask for it. The fear of asking for help can be overcome, and we should all learn to ask for help and help raise awareness about its importance.

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